Characters:
John Entwistle as Himself
Nickeleh Entwistle as Angel
Note: Choir Invisible led by Eric Idle

(Scene: John Entwistle nears the Pearly Gates where an Angel sits at a desk filling out papers.)

John: Excuse me, but is this Heaven?

Angel: (singing) Who are you? Who? Who? Who? Who? (laughs) Ah, hello, Mr. Entwistle! You're just in time for dinner!

John: (yelling) I don't want dinner! I want to go back to my room in Vegas! I 'ave to finish out the tour!

Angel: Sorry, no can do.

John: Well, let me tell you something. I've been stuck in Purgatory for 2 months now, and I want a brandy.

Angel: Only non-alcoholic beverages in Heaven, besides, I don't think you're scheduled to be here.

John: (disgustedly) Oh, and where am I supposed to me?

Angel: (giggles) Do you remember a song you wrote- I think it was 1966- entitled "Heaven and Hell"?

John: (sarcastically) No, I only wrote it.

Angel: No need for sarcasm. Anyway, I think you're going to...

John: (horrified) No! What for?

Angel: What's that white stuff on your nose?

John: Sugar.

Angel: Why do you have sugar on your nose?

John: Cos, when I need a sweet fix, I just lick my nose.

Angel: Riiiiiight...

John: No, seriously. It is.

Angel: Do you remember a certain Eric Clapton song?

John: (innocently) Noooooo... Hey, for you bein' an angel, you sure know a lot about rock music.

Angel: God works in mysterious ways. Anyway, you get some points that were originally against you knocked off because Pete's been badmouthing you.

John: Yeah, I've got a question about that. Why me?

Angel: That's so stupid, darling! You're the one who just had to have your snort!

John: I asked you for a snort of brandy. You denied me! I can 'ave you sued!

Angel: Well, I can have you poked, jabbed, persecuted, hit with lightning bolts, burnt, etc. (smiles)

John: Can you do me a favah?

Angel: (winks flirtatiously) What?

John: Can you hit Pait wif a lightnin' bolt?

Angel: Sure. To make it even better, we'll do it WHILE HE'S ON THE STAGE! (looks at a calendar) Okay, 9 PM, August 23rd. (straightens halo) Oh, and by the way, since you got a few points knocked off, I think you might be able to get into Heaven, but I'm not sure. Anyway, here's your halo, white sparkling robe, and wings. (hands them to John)

John: (stares at the Angel with a dumbfounded look) White isn't my colour. I prefer darks. Instead of a 'alo, can I 'ave a spidah?

Angel: (sighs) You rock stars! You're pains in the arses! I thought Keith Moon was bad, but you...

John: (interrupting) Keith's here?

Angel: Not anymore. He got thrown out for nailing the harps to a cloud.

John: (sits on the edge of the desk and smiles innocently at the Angel) Please send me back to my room in Vegas. I miss my bass! (fake crying)

Angel: Sorry, but you're the one who messed it all up, you wanker! (laughs hysterically)

John: (angrily) I thought people in Heaven were supposed to be nice! And if I don't get a brandy soon, I'm going to be VERY grouchy.

Angel: (fakes snorting and laughs) I'm soooo baaaaaad! (stares at Entwistle) Tell me, Mr. Cokie- I mean, Entwistle- do you like it hot? (laughs)

John: Listen, I'll give you a million dollars if you let me go back on tour with the 'Oo.

Angel: (thinks) Hmmmm, sounds great. Do I get you, Entwistle Estates, the Rolls-Royces, the guitar collection AND a private jet?

John: Yeah, I'll just tell my gahlfriend she's out!

Angel: (giggles) I would if I could, but guess what!

John: What?

Angel: You're in a casket and in the ground by now!

John: (screams) This isn't funny! You should have taken Pete! 'E's mean to people, and he says the F-word a lot!

Angel: Can I let you in on a little secret?

John: (curiously) What?

Angel: Our bass section in the Choir Invisible sucks, so, if I pull a few strings, and of course if you want the job, I can get you in. (goes back to typing)

John: I'll do it. Just, don't send me to Hell, and don't make me wear this frilly robe.

Angel: At least the halo and wings, please?

John: Listen, I'm not Graham Chapman...

Angel: We know that. Graham's in... Hell, which is where you'll be heading if you don't put that halo on! We've got LOADS of offenses on you. Do you remember a certain hotel in which the toilets were blown up with cherry bombs?

John: Yeah, I didn't 'ave anyfing to do wif it.

Angel: That's not what Keefers said...

John: (childishly) Well, what would Keef know? He's so whacked out on alcohol and...

Angel: You're so whacked out on COKE AFTER COKE AFTER COKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(John puts on the halo and the wings.)

Angel: That's more like it. (steps out from behind the desk and unlocks the gates) Okay, enjoy your stay!

John: (smiles) Uh, what're you doin' tonight?

Angel: Don't hit on me, Mr. Cokie! I have guitars to protect!

John: (Begging on hands and knees) Can I pleaaaaaaaaaaase have my skeleton suit from Isle of Wight and my Buzzard Bass?

Angel: (sighs) Well, since you're such a nice lad and wrote such great songs, I'll get them to you. Meet me at my place at... Oh, I forgot, there's no time in heaven. Meet me at my place after dinner, and I'll try to sneak you a bottle of brandy in.

John: I fink I'm gonna like this place!!

Angel: Yeah, it's great. Just stay on the Boss' good side, or like Keefers, you'll be thrown out!

(The Angel whistles, and the leader of the Choir Invisible appears)

Leader: You whistled?

Angel: Ah, Eric! How ya doin'!? Anyway, take Sir Cokehead here and fix him up for the Choir Invisible!

Eric: (disgustedly) Him?

Angel: Yes, him. Or would you rather have (dramatic silence) Roger Daltrey?

Eric: Okay, fine. I'll take him. (Grabs John by the arm) C'mon, Sir Cokehead.

John: Hey, stop it with the coke jokes! I said it was sugah!